Am Too A Man
by Rebecca Keys
Summary: Kurt has always been a pretty boy. But sometimes people forget that at heart, he's still a man. He's sick of people treating him like he's delicate. Plus, he's worried that his closeted boyfriend, Finn, pretends he's a girl when they're together.


Kurt examined his reflection, eyes wide and lips parted as he carefully applied a light smidgen of mascara to both of his lashes. Nothing too heavy— after all, in the world of makeup subtlety was key.

He turned to where his accessories lay draped across a chair, and bent down to slip into his favorite black low-rise heels. He grinned at himself, striking a come-hither pose—at least, until he noticed that his panty hose were riding up again. A few seconds were spent adjusting the stretchy fabric that had bunched somewhat around his hips and knees, and he declared his outfit officially perfect.

Form-fitting, knee-length dappled grey sweater… check.

Hair… Kurt carefully pinched his right-most bang, pulling it toward his ear and then teasing it into place above his brow. Check.

Black and white checkered kerchief? He took a moment to fiddle with the knot of fabric that rested above his collarbone, making sure it was still even. It was. Gorgeous. And the hat—which he now lifted from the chair and placed onto his head, carefully angled to lean away from the better half of his face—offset Kurt's pale skin elegantly.

His iPhonebeeped loudly from the table beside him, making him jump about a foot in the air. After a moment's dithering he answered it.

"Finn; hey! Is everything all right?"

"Sure, just fine."

"You do know that you're supposed to be here in…" Kurt checked his alarm clock. "Five minutes, right?"

"Three, actually. I'm running a bit early." Finn's voice sounded slightly odd—as if he had just attempted to swallow something large and prickly.

"So… why call, if you're so close?" Kurt toyed with his lampshade, hoping that nothing freakishly major had happened since that morning.

Tonight was the one-month-anniversary of their first kiss. Finn had surprised Kurt last Saturday by promising that they'd be hanging out this weekend, saying only that he'd been planning something very special in celebration. Kurt had been looking forward to this 'special something' all week, wondering exactly what 'special' might entail, and what it meant about the state of their relationship.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about! I promise. In fact, um… I just wanted to give you a heads-up. I thought we might go somewhere special tonight." There was that word again. "And this place—it's actually, a bit more _public_, you know, than what we've done before. I hoped you don't mind…."

Kurt's heart sped up. "Public?"

"Yes—it's at a restaurant. That's okay, right?"

Kurt's eyes widened. An actual restaurant! "Finn—yes, of course it's okay! It's _more_ than okay."

It was, in fact, a very big deal. In the earlier days of their relationship, Finn had been too wound-up in a sexual identity crisis to initiate acts of affection with Kurt. But lately Finn had recently reached the point where he could comfortably hold hands with and occasionally even kiss Kurt without freaking out or running off in a panic. It had taken quite a long time to get Finn that that point, and Kurt considered it one of his greatest accomplishments.

It was understandable, then, that Kurt could scarcely believe his ears when Finn said, voice shaking, "Oh… good. I was worried I'd frighten you off if I asked. I know it's a big step, and all, going out as… you know. A couple."

Kurt gulped. "Finn—are you saying what I think you're saying?"

On the other line Finn took a deep breath, and after a moment let out a small, nervous laugh.

"I don't know _what_ I'm saying, to tell you the truth. I thought we could go to Barbara's Country Grill first, for dinner, and then afterward maybe head out to get some ice cream?"

Kurt couldn't stop the grin that threatened to split his face in two; he dearly wished Finn were freaking _here_ already so Kurt could thank him properly. "I… I would really like that."

The soprano tried to resist the urge to prance around in circles, and failed miserably.

"Are you okay, Kurt? You sound a little out of breath."

Kurt stopped jumping, and chuckled awkwardly into his iPhone's mouthpiece. "No, fine! I'm fine, just… fine. Excited and whatnot."

_And whatnot?_ Kurt cursed his frayed nerves and forced himself to sit on the bed, cross his legs primly.

The doorbell sounded.

"I'll get it!" Kurt called out to his dad, leaping up at once. He checked him hair in the mirror one last time and grabbed his overcoat and rhinestone-studded handbag. He took the basement stairs two-at-a-time as quickly as he dared, not wanting to muss his outfit.

Much to his dismay, by the time he reached the entrance hall Burt was already greeting Finn at the door.

Now, Kurt's father hadn't exactly been _told_ that Finn and Kurt were dating. But he wasn't stupid, either. Burt hadn't remarked upon it up until now, but he clearly suspected that _something_ was going on between the two of them, judging by the looks he was now giving Finn.

Kurt took in Finn's appearance, and his jaw dropped. Well, if Burt hadn't guessed Finn's intentions before, he sure as _hell_ knew now. A suit! An actual suit! _And_ a bowtie! Kurt shot a delighted smile Finn's way, not even caring all that much that his dad was glaring at the two of them suspiciously, because a warmth was spreading through his chest that absolutely refused to let _anything_ spoil this moment.

Unfortunately, there was no putting off the inevitable, either. Finn hadn't shown up dressed to go to the _movies_, as Kurt had suggested to his father earlier when asked where they'd be going. There was a freaking _flower_ sticking out of Finn's lapel. The cat was out of the bag.

Burt's father was busy staring at Finn as if hoping that flower would spontaneously combust. Kurt admired the way Finn barely even flinched under the scrutiny. He knew from experience what Burt's "scary schizoid father" impression could do to a guy's nerves.

"_Kurt_," his father finally ground out, looking at him. "Were you planning on going on a _date? _Without telling me?"

"No! Not at all, I promise!" Kurt said. It was the truth: Kurt _hadn't_ known what Finn had arranged for tonight.

"He didn't know what we'd be doing," Finn explained apologetically. "I'm really sorry, sir. It was supposed to be a surprise."

Burt scowled, and didn't meet Kurt's gaze. "Well, he's _not_ going."

Kurt's hands clenched into fists. It was official—the universe hated him. The one night of his life that somebody wanted to do something romantic for him, his father had to go and spoil everything with his squeamishness. Kurt knew Burt was just being protective, but that didn't stop the flood of resentment from pounding against his ears.

Kurt sent his father a _look_. "Why not? You _know_ Finn, he's a good friend of mine!"

"I was just going to take him to dinner, I swear," Finn said quickly, not breaking eye contact with Kurt's father. His face was turning bright red, and Kurt felt embarrassed on his behalf.

Burt crossed his arms. "Kurt is too young to date."

Kurt scoffed. "I'm _seventeen_, dad, we agreed a long time ago that fifteen was the cut-off point."

"Yeah, but that was before I knew for sure that you were—" His father stopped, closing his eyes. Kurt's own eyes narrowed, half in irritation at the unfairness of the whole situation, and half in mortification that Finn was there to witness it.

Burt continued, irritated. "Anyway, it's not safe for you to be out on your own with… with another…" Burt gestured vaguely. Kurt dared him silently to go on.

"You mean with another man?" Kurt smiled sweetly at him. His father crossed his arms.

"I'm terribly sorry Finn, but could you excuse us for a minute?" Without waiting for a response, Kurt grabbed his dad by the elbow and dragged him into the kitchen, kicking the door closed behind them.

Kurt put his hands on his hips and glared at his father.

"Let's talk about what this is really about, shall we? Because age is obviously _not_ the issue here." Kurt tapped his foot, wondering where he was getting the courage to stand up to his father like this. His father looked startled as well.

When Burt replied, it was with an edge of embarrassment, though his tone was uncompromising. "Sorry, but I'm not okay with you going out on your own with him. I'm not sure if I trust that… Finn guy yet."

Kurt shook his head. "Why are you acting like he's this total stranger? He's in Glee with me, remember? We've been friends for almost a year and we hang out all the time. If you don't trust him, why have you been letting me go over his house on weekends?"

Burt pursed his lips, evading the question. "Didn't he used to date girls? And isn't he that boy you had a crush on last year, that you said would never notice you in a million years?"

Kurt looked at his father in surprise. Sometimes he forgot just how perceptive his dad could be when he wanted to. He blushed a little, but kept his chin held high.

"As a matter of fact… Yes. But I don't see what any of those things has to do with the fact that he likes me—yes, dad, he _likes_ me—that he was sweet enough to ask me out, _and_ that he is completely innocent of whatever horrible acts you're imagining he plans to do to me!" He ignored his dad's cough. "Go on, say it. The truth is, _you_ just can't handle the thought of me going out with another man!"

"What I can't _handle_ is the thought of you getting hurt." Kurt almost took a step back from the force of the emotion in his father's voice.

They stared at one another.

After a few seconds of strained silence, Kurt recovered enough to respond.

"I know… that you worry about me, Dad. I'm all you have left, and frankly, you're all I have left, too." He paused, his chest feeling tight. "But I'm not fragile. I wasn't born yesterday. And I'm definitely not stupid enough to let myself get persuaded into… doing something I wouldn't want to do."

Burt looked at Kurt more intensely than Kurt had seen him do in a long time. "It's not about stupidity, Kurt. That Finn guy is so much bigger than you.... If it came down to a fight…" He held up his hand to cut off Kurt's protests. "I'm _not_ saying that would necessarily happen with him." He jerked a thumb in the direction of the stairs. "But, _Hell_ Kurt, I have a right to be worried! Finn might not physically force you, but I'm not convinced that he… has your best interests in mind."

Burt looked at Kurt meaningfully, and spoke as if the words were being dragged from his lungs by a fishhook. "Men are _jerks_, Kurt, and they only care about _one thing_."

Kurt had no idea what to say to that. He merely gaped at his father, mouth opening and closing several times. He wasn't sure if he trusted himself to speak. When he did, it came out as a squawk.

"Dad!_ Think_ about what you just said to me." Kurt deeply resented the perplexed expression that crossed his father's features. "Hello? Not sure if it's occurred to you, what with you so busy floundering about like a raging father-bear, but in case you'd forgotten—_I'm a man, too._"

A second, more powerful silence filled the small kitchen. Burt looked like he'd been slapped. "Kurt…"

"I'm not a girl, okay? I might be gay and have mostly girl friends, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me like one." Kurt thought about his words.

"Actually, even if I _were_ a girl, I'd deserve better treatment than this."

He looked his father squarely in the eye. "I understand why you're worried about me, and I'm not asking you to stop being so. But please, step outside of yourself for a minute and consider what I _am_ asking of you."

Kurt was having trouble breathing correctly, but he needed to make himself absolutely clear. "Your only son has just been asked to have dinner with the _man he loves_. Can't you understand what that means to me?"

Burt was quiet for a long time, looking at his feet. With a sigh, he removed his cap and smoothed down his hair in a gesture that seemed eerily familiar to Kurt.

"You're right," he said at last. "Of course, you're right." Kurt wasn't sure, but he thought Burt's eyes might be shining more brightly than usual; but it might have just been excess glare from the bad lighting.

"You always did have your mother's sense." Burt finally looked at him. "I'm sorry I accused your—" he coughed awkwardly, "_Finn_ of wanting to… well. We both know the Hummels are strong, right? We don't let anything or anyone mess us around." He put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I do have faith in you, Kurt. But I'll always be worried about you. I can't help that."

Now it was Kurt who had trouble making eye contact. A pause.

"Finn is probably wondering where you're at."

Kurt became completely still, but only for a moment—the next, he was hugging his father close.

--

Kurt found Finn sitting dejectedly on the front steps of the house. He had closed the front door, and Kurt's heart beat a little faster to see the bouquet of flowers Finn held gripped in one hand. He realized that Finn had been sitting here patiently, waiting for Kurt for over ten minutes, probably worried sick over what they were saying about him.

"Oh, Finn…"

Finn turned around. Seeing Kurt, the muscles around his eyes and mouth visibly relaxed. "Kurt! You got out okay? What, uh—did your dad say anything?"

"Yeah—don't worry, it's good news. He's agreed to let you accompany me for dinner, after all." Finn's face lit up, and Kurt smiled down at him. "I'm _really_ sorry he put you through all of that."

"I probably deserved it. God, I was an idiot! What was I thinking, not asking him first?" His grin faltered. "Are you sure he's okay with it? What made him change his mind?"

"Me and him had a nice little chat about personal boundaries, and safety." Kurt backtracked, seeing the look of discomfort on Finn's face. "Well, it's good that we finally talked, anyway. Just so you know, I'm under strict orders to call him once we get to the restaurant. And I have to be home by eleven."

Finn stood, wiping his hands on his pants. "I'm sorry I got you into trouble. This is not going at all the way I thought it was… I know I'm crap at this." He offered the bouquet of flowers sheepishly. Kurt took them with a fond smile, his ears growing warm. Kurt had never seen Finn act so gentlemanly, and the fact that Finn was acting that way because of _him_… It made for a nice change.

"Thank you Finn, that's—really sweet of you." Kurt brought the flowers to his nose, thinking they were the most beautiful he'd ever seen.

"You look really nice tonight, by the way," Finn said, opening the passenger side door of his car for Kurt to get in. "I like your scarf-thing."

"I don't know if it's the moon, or what, but tonight, I find your complete lack of fashion knowledge strangely… compelling." Kurt winked at Finn, amazed at his own daring. He smirked at Finn's wide-eyed expression. He had never been this forward with Finn before, and it was making Kurt giddy, which probably explained how his next sentence managed to escape his lips before his brain could clamp it down.

"I guess it _must_ be love."

There was a long pause as Finn's eyes seared into Kurt's own with some unreadable emotion. The next moment, Finn was looking away and climbing into the driver's seat, shutting the door without another word as Kurt did the same on his side.

The drive to dinner was nerve-wracking to say the least. They rode beside one another in complete silence the whole trip. But Finn's skin was glowing a pleasant pink all the way from his ears to the front of his neck, so Kurt wasn't too worried about it.


End file.
